We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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