Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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