Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I see more hoeing in ur future
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