May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
3pm strippers are depressing
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
