Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
