Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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