You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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