his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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