it wasn't lemon gatorade
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
