how can u be prego again
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
