I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize