why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We had to coat check the pizza.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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