I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
