Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
