Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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