I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
