I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dignity is for republicans.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
