I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize