i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
