Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize