I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
