yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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