After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
