You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
