Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
