Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
