Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
