do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
