You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
