What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
