i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My dick has a subreddit
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
