You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
