she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
