please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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