I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize