i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
