$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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