Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
