I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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