Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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