It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Drunk is not a location!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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