so that wasnt chicken after all
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
my liver is dry heaving
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
