I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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