Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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