Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize