i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
