I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
