I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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