These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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