I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
