friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize