Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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