am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
