Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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