It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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