My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
