Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
