is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize