after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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