I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
