By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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