then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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