How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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