the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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