That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
