I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
id be glad to
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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