wat bout pragnant strippers??
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize