I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
