Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
