So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
