You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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