guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
